tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31650716450672799572024-03-08T02:57:57.039-08:00The Begining of the EndCarletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-81606215862733960562010-09-27T11:23:00.000-07:002010-09-27T11:34:52.405-07:00I think I just woke up.I think, right now, in this moment, I realize my purpose. I think I realize exactly what I'm supposed to do on this earth, in this life. I'm smiling, I'm shining, and I'm filled with love and Joy. Thank you...Now, the great work begins.Carletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-4547782300059065372010-09-09T20:46:00.000-07:002010-09-09T21:19:11.558-07:00Insane is the new normal!??!!?!?!? : ) LoL, :( : )I began where I left off from...In a place of darkness and uncertainty sustained by a guiding light from above...The light shown through the clouds but just barely as to manifest itself, almost transforming the terrain into a biblical painting of hope versus despair.Faces made up to be happy, to be workable, in order to get through the day, through the week, though life in this paradigm as who knows it? In the biggining, was it simple? OF COURSE NOT! Why then do we expect something more? A glimpse perhaps that we saw in someone, in people, a second of compassion, an instance of hope and understanding of the human condition, a tear in the gloom of the sky, that showed us light in the darkness as I drove south on I-15 toward my destiny...created or no, we are here and we feel...Chasing heaven. Hoping to be the ones who bring love to the forefront and are congradulated by it. not condemded to burn in eternal brimstone. No no, NO NO NO, this is our life, are we who we want to be are we are we are we?<br /><br />Do we choose? Are we living within walls we create or do we adapt, America no longer the great melting pot but America the great solid? Look it up, this is all true, if you have the time, if you can break away from working to feed yourself, and your mother, and your children, if you have time to think of the extraordinary, if you do... You must be held accountable we must be held accountable for our actions for our inaction for our sins? whose sins? whose to say what are sins and what are break throughs of intuition and heart? who is to say? so we don't right? can we be wrong for once and that be OK? I didn't do my home work, I didn't read the chapters, I glanced over it and read the inside sleeve because I was tired, over worked and frankly didn't want to!!!!!!! What is my grade? What is my value to society? What is my judgment oh father of fathers? Pass judgment America, France, Iraq, England, Alkyda, Pass judgment on me and on us all, we can take it, we are heroes, we are winners, we are psychologically altered to embrace and forget. We are all actors. And you patronize us for our work, our sins, our reality TV. You deny your faults, we just hide them in a blanket of insecurity and fear. who are you to judge? who are you? Who are you? Reading this...what do you think? Is it crazy? Is it crazy enough? Does the length scare you, you've got something better to do don't you! homework to do, papers to write, jobs bills grocery's, girlfriend, boy-toys, mothers, fathers, brothers, problems, drugs labor love loss emotion expression ext.ext.ext.ext.ext. something else to do...Well so do I. Sleep. I get to sleep. and not think of tomorrow for one time. Then back to the machine it is. and 2010 will continue, marching on with one side wounded and one headlight. BTW!!!!!! We Children of the 90's, children of angst do think about this shit, the problems, the solutions, democrat and repulican, black men and white me, jews and and gentiles, we think and see and feel about it all and not for one second do we blame you for casting this shadow this responsibility on us. NO, instead we take it head on, we sing hallelujah, the national anthem with or without God in it, and we march head first into hell because that's the home grown way we were raised. So...What do you expect?<br /><br />What ever it is, Screw you, I love you, You're a bitch, you're the best, so unreliable, so beautifully incomprehensible, fantastic and predictable and oh so so so so so very human, and may God have mercy on our souls. <br /><br />Viva LaCarletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-13527449834531174562010-06-05T13:01:00.000-07:002010-06-05T13:44:16.394-07:00Ramblings<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CCarleton%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CCarleton%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" 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Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoNoSpacing, li.MsoNoSpacing, div.MsoNoSpacing {mso-style-priority:1; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNoSpacing">What it is it about us that we desperately need to be seen? “He’s an actor, he really only exists when you’re watching him.”
<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Did you know that people are different? And sometimes trying to put labels on them in order for you to better understand them can actually hurt them and push them away?
<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">The amount of things I have to day in a day physically and mentally to stay alive is overwhelming.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">If I scream inside for 15 years will I eventually be heard? I mean I get that if a tree falls in the forest you might not hear it, but what if 10,000 trees fall, do you think you'll be sitting there sipping your extra foam, soy vanilla, latte and think, "What was that?" Maybe that's how the world will end. With no one even knowing what happened. No one paying attention, everyone just...Have you ever been sitting in a cafe and accidentally listening to someone's conversation? It seems intrusive doesn't it. I wish it wasn't. People need dramatic example to learn they say, who are we to presume what people need? Who are we not to try and figure it out? If life was as simple as being happy, we wouldn't have capitalism, money, or anything that says that I am better or more deserving than you. So is communism happiness? Isn't happiness a word the tries to define a feeling? Whats bigger than happiness?</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">This is an attempt to get this feeling out of my chest, this lead weight, this burden maybe. Its uncompromising. Uncompromising, like so much in this world. I think that means the world is a part of me, as much as I fight against it. So what's the other part? The falling tree that no one hears?..</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Yeah.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></p> Carletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-76256820428399423742010-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:002010-05-28T02:16:28.044-07:00The In-betweensYou know the times when you laugh out loud and everyone looks at you wondering what the duce you're laughing at and you're a little embarrassed...except you know it was really funny?<br />Or...Right after that really satisfying kiss, they walk away and you savor it for a few more seconds?<br />Or...The feeling you get as the blood rushes up through your chest into your head when you know you're about to get into an argument?<br /><br />Those times when you've just done something so stupid and there's no going back or the moment before you walk into a party where you know you're "ex" will be, waiting, ... with those eyes. The times when someone touches you and you shake a little as your body responds to the feeling of touch, you try to hide the enjoyment of it and revel in it at the same time. Or those moments when you look at someone for a bit too long but you both acknowledge that its good, you smile, they smile, and then the awkward turn away.<br /><br />Do you remember the pit in your stomach when someone is about to tell you that a friend was in an accident and is...or aching you get when you realized that you've failed one too many times and as the world closes in on you, all you can do is wait?<br /><br />Do you remember? These are The In-Betweens, the moments that no one sees, the seconds we keep to ourselves and then store away in our memories. The little idiosyncrasies that make us all human, in my opinion the best and most honest part of us. If you're reading this, rub your arm, I dare you, take a second to just feel what it's like. It can be amazing...living.<br /><br />It's just a thought, one of many we've had today but didn't think important enough to write down. Well I think you are important,..who ever is reading this, I think you're pretty damn great.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />BluCarletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-87581189770105967952010-02-25T15:17:00.000-08:002010-02-25T15:20:19.770-08:00Wallace<span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><pre style="font-size:9pt;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Wallace...The path to finding Wallace has been one of self examination. It is</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >uncanny how much Wallace's life mirrors my own yet we are still very different.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >As I move into the final days of rehearsal, I look back at my work and remember</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >a phrase from the play.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >"There is a certain kind of agony that seers the s oul of an average man</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >yearning. Who sees, you know? What might be if he were just a little bit</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >more..."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Every night, I get the chance to tell the story of a man who yearned to become</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >more, just like me, and every night I am tested, prompted, and pushed to achieve</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >that goal. To show who this man was and to try to do it well, that's all I</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >expect of any creative person and Wallace was as creative as any. In a show like</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >this, for me, it is not about Jerry, the audience, Jennifer the writer, or</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Richard, it's about me and Wallace. He lurches over my shoulder and taunts me to</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >do the work, his work. He is the muse and he whispers ever so softly and</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >requires of the listener, me, a state of absolute focus and perfect delivery.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >This is the kind of role an actor dreams of and dreads, putting everything you</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >have to the test. In my eyes it is the greatest challenge of my acting career</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >yet and I owe it to Wallace and I to do it justice . "To make manifest my own</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >clarion call, to sing the notes the I have written and to know that they are</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >beautiful." And in the end, when all is said and done, I will take the weight of</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >portraying a revolutionary off of my tattered shoulders and keep faith that the</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >audience received the right message. The message that just like Wallace, I am a</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >human being, nothing that is human is alien to me.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >"Oh fyah, fyah lawd, fyah's gonna burn my soul. "</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Carleton Bluford</span><br /></span><tt><br /></tt></pre></span>Carletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-1427190267473436922009-12-20T16:45:00.000-08:002009-12-20T16:56:16.753-08:00If you can't Hold on...If you can't hold on...Hold on!To all the soldiers of the revolution. To all of the people who have reached out to grab their dreams and returned with a fist full of nothing. To everyone who has dreamed of a better world and then awoke in this one. To all of the single mothers, to all of the single fathers, to all of the lonely people. To all who love art because it inspires, not because in brings in a net profit. To all of the parents who see their children on stage and are proud because their kid is trying, not because he/she is getting exposure. To all of the dreamers who believe that love is something so powerful, it's still undefined and misunderstood. To all of the romantics who work to try to define and understand love. To anyone who's ever cried at the end of moulin rouge. To all of the uncompromising family in New York still trying to make it, to everyone in Chicago still on the grind, to everyone in L.A. trying to move on up, and to all my peeps in Utah keeping their dreams alive in a state where only one dream is excepted as they sing "Any dream will do". And to everyone who knows deep down in their core that there is a better way, Hold on.<br /><br />Believe it or not, Reinforcements are coming.<br />Viva la Revolution.Carletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-5414253367856327912009-11-05T00:03:00.000-08:002009-11-05T00:15:54.119-08:00On the set of "The Green Hornet"As I sit on the steps of building 1201, my belly begins to rumble. I haven't eaten all day and my energy begins to run low. Downtown L.A. stares me in the face as pre-movie magic happens before me. I'm early, and although I knew I would be and would have nothing to do for an hour and a half, I came early anyway. Maybe to make a good impression. Does it matter? (The grumpy woman signing us all in Says "I'll deal with you at 4:30, until then, Sit down!") Apparently not! Yet we don't fight fire with fire now. This lesson I have learned in my travels, time to strap on the guppy smile and take on the honor of being an extra.<br /><br />Today I saw the sunset in the east. As the sun sets in the west, it reflects off of one of the mamouth Downtown L.A. buildings so bright that it looks and feels like a real sunset. Remarkable, imagine watching the sun set in the middle of a city.<br /><br />It's a funny thing to put aside your pride and continue forward. It makes everything feel new. like the first time you were on set, the amazement and wonder felt by your eyes as they take in the scenery. We all remember that first time, your smile is as wide as the nile river, continually hoping they give you a speaking part upgrade, watching the actors perform. I decided way back then that this would be my career and I began my journey. 15 years later, I begin again, this time in L.A. Hopefully I will yeild the same results as in previous years.Carletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3165071645067279957.post-5880582935101022952009-10-13T11:28:00.000-07:002009-10-13T13:07:18.354-07:00TimeWith all of this talk about the end times and what will happen in 2012 and whatever else, I feel we are neglecting to look at the present, this is the Apocalypse. When people decide that money is more important than other people, when coffee is more important that taking your baby to the emergency room, when you make six figures in a business suit but can't afford to give change to the homeless because you're running late or because they may just be another CEO in a business suit on there day off. When medicine stops helping people, all people, and continues to keep them sick, when a government can't pass a bill that will help everyone because of fear of change,when a man beats his wife and family because of work and social pressures, when Starbucks raises prices on already expensive coffee, when art is considered expendable in our schools, when bailouts are given to people who have been stealing from everyone(and this is public knowledge), when actors are judged by their marketability rather by their talent or the content of their character, when dreams are made to be silly and hopes categorized as dreams or as make believe, when a generation has forgotten how to love so we just say it's "uncool".<br />It's time for us to create our own future, our own destiny.<br />Thank you to all of those people who help when you see a car ran out of gas, thank you for holding the elevator, thank you for waiting 2 more minutes for your extra hot, no foam, skinny vanilla Latte, Thank you for doing your job even though you are sick because you know others need you, thank you for putting in extra hours at work, thank you for having a dream that one day all men, black men and white men, Jews and gentiles, protestants and Catholics would be able to sit together at the table of brother hood. Thank you Tracy Callahan for believing that we can say something with words that can echo through to a persons soul.<br /><br />The time for concern is now, if ever you were going to be a revolutionary, if ever you were going to speak about injustice, prop #8, racism, if ever you were going to do a play in a courtyard in the middle of the town in the hopes of expanding minds, if ever you were going to write that one song, glory, before you go, if ever you were going to love for real and forever, until death do you part,... Now is the time.<br />Don't wait until the end to begin.<br /><br />For all that I love, <br />Viva la resistance,<br /><br />BluCarletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14504394529440250116noreply@blogger.com0