Saturday, June 5, 2010


What it is it about us that we desperately need to be seen? “He’s an actor, he really only exists when you’re watching him.”

Did you know that people are different? And sometimes trying to put labels on them in order for you to better understand them can actually hurt them and push them away?

The amount of things I have to day in a day physically and mentally to stay alive is overwhelming.

If I scream inside for 15 years will I eventually be heard? I mean I get that if a tree falls in the forest you might not hear it, but what if 10,000 trees fall, do you think you'll be sitting there sipping your extra foam, soy vanilla, latte and think, "What was that?" Maybe that's how the world will end. With no one even knowing what happened. No one paying attention, everyone just...Have you ever been sitting in a cafe and accidentally listening to someone's conversation? It seems intrusive doesn't it. I wish it wasn't. People need dramatic example to learn they say, who are we to presume what people need? Who are we not to try and figure it out? If life was as simple as being happy, we wouldn't have capitalism, money, or anything that says that I am better or more deserving than you. So is communism happiness? Isn't happiness a word the tries to define a feeling? Whats bigger than happiness?

This is an attempt to get this feeling out of my chest, this lead weight, this burden maybe. Its uncompromising. Uncompromising, like so much in this world. I think that means the world is a part of me, as much as I fight against it. So what's the other part? The falling tree that no one hears?..



  1. Wow. I realize now why we are so much akin. Its almost this sense of existentialism...what is my impact on the world? Does anything I do matter? Are stereotypes the most comfortable and quickest way to an answer? Apparently, because everybody goes with them and believes in them.
    But think of the impact of a falling tree...what it does to the forest that it resides in, what it does to the environment, the Earth...there's less oxygen. When the tree falls, its like skipping a heartbeat, not taking that one breath you need when you're's essential.
    Words are so inadequate to describe what the Human Experience is. But yet, we're addicted to them. They create form; a tiny, ridiculous form to how we think we feel...but whatever happened to the Unspoken...the eye contact...the moment or the silence shared between two people where they just know...they know something is right...or wrong...or whatever...that spontaneity of that what fulfillment and life is? That unknowing moment? If all else fails...if people fail...have faith in that moment of knowing and unknowing...the moment that keeps you on your toes and reminds you to breath otherwise you'll miss out on something wondrous.
    Life isn't as simple as being happy. If it was, yes it would be communism. Or a utopia. Or heaven. And then we'd know we're all dead. No, life is a volcano. Awesome and dangerous, beautiful and deadly...matter is constantly moving, reshaping, forming into rock that will last millions of years, surpassing time.
    So where do you find yourself?
    I'm always certain of my uncertainty. And the love shared between souls.
    I'm always sure of that.
    In the loneliest of times. Make the best of what you got...
    The best of what I got, is you as my friend.
    So where does that leave us?
    That leaves us with tomorrow.
    And a guaranteed sunrise.

  2. For some reason, today, on this day of days, I happened upon this. Your words, and you have no idea how much they mean. Can't wait to see you. Viva La