I began where I left off from...In a place of darkness and uncertainty sustained by a guiding light from above...The light shown through the clouds but just barely as to manifest itself, almost transforming the terrain into a biblical painting of hope versus despair.Faces made up to be happy, to be workable, in order to get through the day, through the week, though life in this paradigm as who knows it? In the biggining, was it simple? OF COURSE NOT! Why then do we expect something more? A glimpse perhaps that we saw in someone, in people, a second of compassion, an instance of hope and understanding of the human condition, a tear in the gloom of the sky, that showed us light in the darkness as I drove south on I-15 toward my destiny...created or no, we are here and we feel...Chasing heaven. Hoping to be the ones who bring love to the forefront and are congradulated by it. not condemded to burn in eternal brimstone. No no, NO NO NO, this is our life, are we who we want to be are we are we are we?
Do we choose? Are we living within walls we create or do we adapt, America no longer the great melting pot but America the great solid? Look it up, this is all true, if you have the time, if you can break away from working to feed yourself, and your mother, and your children, if you have time to think of the extraordinary, if you do... You must be held accountable we must be held accountable for our actions for our inaction for our sins? whose sins? whose to say what are sins and what are break throughs of intuition and heart? who is to say? so we don't right? can we be wrong for once and that be OK? I didn't do my home work, I didn't read the chapters, I glanced over it and read the inside sleeve because I was tired, over worked and frankly didn't want to!!!!!!! What is my grade? What is my value to society? What is my judgment oh father of fathers? Pass judgment America, France, Iraq, England, Alkyda, Pass judgment on me and on us all, we can take it, we are heroes, we are winners, we are psychologically altered to embrace and forget. We are all actors. And you patronize us for our work, our sins, our reality TV. You deny your faults, we just hide them in a blanket of insecurity and fear. who are you to judge? who are you? Who are you? Reading this...what do you think? Is it crazy? Is it crazy enough? Does the length scare you, you've got something better to do don't you! homework to do, papers to write, jobs bills grocery's, girlfriend, boy-toys, mothers, fathers, brothers, problems, drugs labor love loss emotion expression ext.ext.ext.ext.ext. something else to do...Well so do I. Sleep. I get to sleep. and not think of tomorrow for one time. Then back to the machine it is. and 2010 will continue, marching on with one side wounded and one headlight. BTW!!!!!! We Children of the 90's, children of angst do think about this shit, the problems, the solutions, democrat and repulican, black men and white me, jews and and gentiles, we think and see and feel about it all and not for one second do we blame you for casting this shadow this responsibility on us. NO, instead we take it head on, we sing hallelujah, the national anthem with or without God in it, and we march head first into hell because that's the home grown way we were raised. So...What do you expect?
What ever it is, Screw you, I love you, You're a bitch, you're the best, so unreliable, so beautifully incomprehensible, fantastic and predictable and oh so so so so so very human, and may God have mercy on our souls.